TESTIMONY 12: MY EXPERIENCE WITH SPIRITUAL ATTACKS

Today I write about my experience with spiritual attacks. It's quite lengthy, so make yourself some tea, maybe a snack as well and get comfortable, because you are about to read an online book lol the best thing about it though, is that it is the truth... and it's free! I share these attacks to remind you of the battle taking place in the spiritual realm everyday, so that you can become more aware of it and no longer be a victim to it, because you have the authority! You see, whether you are aware of it or not the enemy of God tries to stop you from worshipping the one eternal God everyday of your life, because he wants you to worship him, he wants you to listen to him.You become fully aware of it when you have the Holy Spirit inside you and then of course you also become a target of the enemy of God, let me explain why though.

In my last post I mentioned that if you sin, you are like Adam and Eve, who listened to the devil by eating the fruit that God told them not to eat. This means that when you sin, you are not listening to God. When you sin you are listening to the devil, therefore you are following his way of teaching. And so when you sin you are giving the devil power over you and your life. The devil specially targets born again Christians (who forget to pray and put on their armour) because He knows that he has lost control of them and his job (and the job of his workers) is to keep trying to tempt us so that we fall back into sin. You see one more person who is saved by Christ is one more person that will be entering the Kingdom of God when they die! So all he wants is to drag you back into drinking and sinning. He uses people who still follow him (to tempt you or discourage you) and his target is your mind. The devil and his workers try their best to speak lies into your mind, so that they can get you to doubt what God has said in His Word - just like in the beginning. The devil made Eve doubt what God had said and then she gave in and sinned. (We have a choice to give in or resist). The enemy of God uses your mind, because he knows that thoughts bring about emotions and emotions bring about actions and you need to know it too!

I have been getting a few attacks since the day I was saved. The first one was the worst, because I didn't know what was happening lol It took place in Sun City. I had travelled to Sun City to take part in Idols South Africa's theatre week stage, from the beginning to the end of that trip I had really negative thoughts in my mind, not your average negative thoughts, they were basically make-believe thoughts about myself and the people around me. Before the trip I was feeling confident, I thought to myself "I can actually win Idols you know, it's easy, and I can use it to bring people close to God, I feel like they will listen to me if I have this title" but as soon as I landed there and we entered the stage area something came over me. My mind just flooded to a point where I couldn't figure out what was real and what wasn't. It's really hard to explain, but my mind was telling me to believe things that were not true, very delusional thoughts and I felt like I couldn't trust anyone around me. At that time I wasn't strong as a Christian. Throughout this whole Idols experience, the one I was so excited about, I was giving the devil power over me to manipulate my mind - because I was believing all his lies. On the first day I allowed fear into my mind and countless insecurities about myself, like if someone spoke to me I would try and find a hidden meaning to what they were saying like they were secretly insulting me. I even found it hard to sit around the dinner table and engage with people I just wanted to be silent and pay these negative thoughts all of my attention. It's such a hard thing to explain, but basically I had lost touch with reality and couldn't take Idols or people seriously and I just wanted to go home to Cape Town, immediately. I wanted my mommy lol

My Idols audition

On the second day, the day I got knocked off of Idols, I made the decision that I wasn't going to let fear control me and I tried my best to do better on stage while still thinking all these distracting thoughts. You have no idea how hard this was for me, and all I kept thinking was that if I just went home and saw my family again everything would be fine (but what I really needed to be doing all along was praying for protection, and reading the Word of God - which I was not doing). When the judges made their decision and sent myself and Trevor (the other person in my group) home, all of the people voted out went into the same room where we all waited hours until everybody else voted out on the day arrived. In the meantime someone had started a discussion about witchcraft, talking about what they had witnessed in their churches of people shaking, demons being rebuked etc. This was the first time I was really hearing about how real all of this is in our world. I curiously listened, but didn't pay too much attention to it, mostly because I kept disbelieving, I only wanted to believe in the good, not the bad because ain't nobody got time for that lol

Later I started feeling an intense FEAR of getting back onto a plane and so I asked the organizers if there was any way I could perhaps instead take a bus from Johannesburg to Bloemfontein, and they said they would arrange it, but they didn't. They gave me my flight details the next day. After a 2 hour bus trip to the airport and a couple hours of waiting I made my way to my plane and was shocked at the size of it. Already having a sudden fear of flight I then still had to get on my first SMALL plane lol when I was seated inside I asked the man next to me "Have you travelled on these small planes before?" lol "Yes I have, are you scared?" "I just haven't been on a plane this small before. Don't you feel turbulence more on these small planes?" "It's not that bad, it's better than a big plane." I found some closure in those echoing words, but they soon echoed away. As soon as the plane took off the biggest fear came over me. I had to close my window cover, because I couldn't bare to watch how high we were. (I had traveled to Johannesburg, Durban, New York, London and Paris before this flight and was fine) I sat back deep in my seat, my hands started shaking, my heart was beating hard and my chest was tense. I just kept telling myself  "This is it" lol "this is how I am dying, this plane is going down and I am about to die." I then added "Father God, please don't let this plane go down, I'm not ready to die I have so much to do, please. In Jesus name. Amen." When we landed safely in Bloemfontein I celebrated with the person next to me lol I thought I was in the clear for a few minutes, but turned out that I had just arrived at the destination of the peak of this evil experience.

When I arrived inside my brothers soccer house I realized that I had literally not eaten anything throughout the entire day (I wasn't hungry at all, I had just completely lost my appetite) and it was dark outside already but we decided to walk. We walked to a steers nearby and I noticed that as my brother was talking to me I struggled to put my sentences together. I could hardly speak I just kept saying "I feel weird hey. I don't know what's wrong but I feel weird." I thought maybe I just need to eat something (again not praying for protection or reading the Word). When our food arrived I had this split second of hope "everything's going to be fine now" until I put the food in my mouth and couldn't taste anything. It don't know what paper tastes like, but it tasted like paper. The thought of swallowing something that didn't taste like anything made me feel sick and I couldn't eat it. "I need water Seby, I can't taste this food I'm not going to be able to eat it." "Sydney, force it, because I don't know what to do if you pass out, mom and dad are only coming tomorrow, what would I do?" I ate about 3 chips, took one bite of the burger and forced it down and that's all I could get in me without throwing up. The walk back was the worst, I started seeing purple light everywhere in the darkness. My mind was a place of torment and I couldn't walk anymore because I felt as though I were about to faint. Again I thought: "This is it" lol Sebastian then lifted me up and carried me on his back. I then started feeling just, unsafe and began worrying that someone would jump out of the bush with a knife and attack us, at that point I started praying for protection. "Father God, what is happening to me? Am I dying? I can't die here in Bloemfontein in the street! I'm not ready to die God please!! Protect me against evil, please I need you God!!" When we got back to the house I finished two bottles of water and decided to sleep, but as soon as I closed my eyes I saw a familiar face and it looked really evil and I'm not sure if it had anything to do with overhearing those witchcraft stories or if they were a warning sign, but something inside me told me to say a prayer against witchcraft immediately. I didn't know what to say though? So I pulled out my cellphone and searched for a prayer on Google (lol) and I found the longest most effective prayer ever: Prayer against evil I went to the bathroom to be alone and said this prayer and immediately felt 1000 times better. I could sleep, and woke up alive the next day, so great. When my parents arrived I told them what had happened. I celebrate now though, looking at the growth I received out of this experience. You can either Give Glory to the devil by constantly complaining about how he has ruined your life, or you can give Glory to God for all He has brought you through, for how He has strengthened you, rescued you, corrected you and taught you. Below is a picture taken in Bloemfontein with my brother the next day after the attack.

I had a few attacks after this one, but now you can see how God uses it. So yesterday I got Kelly (the girl who told me she had a vision about me) at a casting and she was talking about how she had witnessed a woman being possessed and mentioned that she had too been getting attacks. "When last have you been attacked?" she asked "Well it happened once recently while having dinner with my family, I had to leave the table to pray. Other than that it hasn't happened in a while." "When it happens you are to pray and read the word of God. Just know that we have nothing to worry about. The devil wants us to fear." she said and I agreed. After the casting my brother and I headed to Mcdonalds in Kloof street. While we were eating I noticed a man walk into Mcdonalds to use the bathroom. Something told me there was something evil about him. I watched him as he walked all the way to the bathroom. He was a dark-skinned man dressed as if he could live on the street in a worn out grey sweat pants and a black top. He looked troubled and in a daze, like he was on autopilot. A while later he left and I started feeling strange. I felt weak and fear filled my mind again. I started praying in my head directing my prayer to any evil spirits I cannot see. "You have no power over me. I am a child of the Most Powerful. I am protected by the blood of Jesus Christ and no weapon formed against me will prosper in Jesus name." I was feeling better, but not 100% better, so I told my brother "let's go to the car I feel like sleeping." We got into the car and as we were pulling out I saw that man again standing in the parking lot only he was saying things to himself while looking at my brother's car. I starred at him while he did it and he suddenly looked up directly into my eyes through the front window and stopped saying things, with a slight evil grin on his face. He looked so familiar to me at that point, but I don't think it was his face I think it was the way he smiled that seemed familiar to me. I said a prayer against him and for my brother's car and messaged another person who always prays for me to pray against this attack I was having. The person I messaged said that they had just been thinking about me and wanted to message me and that God places thoughts in our minds to help others, because we are all connected through Christ. And yes, there are evil people in this world - but God is faithful. I would like to that my Father God for these experiences and thank Him for protecting me and giving me these testimonies that I can share with the world. I know this is just the beginning. The message: Do NOT stop praying!!!! When you wake up in the morning get on your knees and pray for protection, put on your armour and you will be fine. Until my next post, here is a video on Spiritual Warfare (if you too are experiencing spiritual attacks) you can do more research by searching the net, its everywhere if you just look, but rather focus on the Word of God - it's sufficient. This video below was very helpful when it comes to witchcraft attacks though, so it will definitely help you too, enjoy! May God bless you, guide you and protect you, in Jesus name! Amen

TESTIMONY 11: I WAS BAPTIZED

On 21 September 2014, I was baptized again (I was baptized as a baby, but I obviously had no idea what was happening then lol). My heart had been longing to get baptized "again" for quite some time since I said the salvation prayer and I had been coming across a Bible verse saying you must be born again, a lot, I had also been hearing of people getting baptized, and then my church (both Hillsong and The Bay) announced that they would be doing baptisms services. I took it as a clear sign, that perhaps I should get baptized lol I am so happy I made this decision. There's just something beautiful about leaving your old life, old self and old ways in the past and becoming a new person, with new ways. On 21 September 2014 the old Sydney died, and I was born again! I now leave behind all of my sins, and choose (now that my eyes are opened) to try my best to live a godly life like Christ, and through Christ. You see, thousands of years ago when Adam and Eve sinned the first time the devil took authority over them and all who do the same, because when they ate the fruit of the forbidden tree they were not listening to God Who said "Do not eat it" they were listening to the devil who said "Eat it" And so if you sin you are not listening to God who says "You must not sin" you are listening to the devil who says "You must sin" and since God's Kingdom is a Kingdom for people who obey God, those who listen to the devil will not enter it. But the good news is that:

"God so loved the world, that He gave His only

begotten Son, so that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life."

(John 3:16)

God had a plan to save people and He sent His angel Gabriel to a virgin woman named Mary, who was highly favoured by God for being so pure, to tell her that she would be having a child and that He will be named Jesus and he will save his people from their sins. When Jesus came into the world and died on the cross, His was made to be a sacrifice for all of our sins, so that we can come back to God. And Jesus Christ is our example, and he was baptized (Matthew 3:13-17) and so as he taught, we must also be baptized (John 3:1-21). And below is a picture taken by Hillsong Church Cape Town of my baptism:

I remember quite some time back I had tears in my eyes as I read the story of Noah in the Bible, how God chose to save him and his family only, because he was righteous. I had tears in my eyes, because I kept thinking negative thoughts like "Now because of all the things I did in my life, all those drunk nights, I will never be righteous, because of these actions I chose. If I had just avoided drinking and nightclubs I would never have walked that path. It's too late for me, because I already did it.  If the world were to end tonight, I would not be saved from the flood" I went to sleep feeling down that night and the next morning, still feeling low I started thinking about it again in the car on the way home. "Why did I do all those things. Now I will never be righteous. God can't I just take it all away so why am I even trying" Immediately I looked out the widow to my left and there stood a sign in the distance against a wall "You do not have to be great to start. You just have to start to be great." I felt immediate motivation that I had been lacking all along and felt it was a sign from God telling me "Yes Sydney, there is a way." I smiled. Later I was lead to finding out about Hillsong's baptisms and I'm happy I have this second chance and I learned that God can wipe our sins away.

"I will be merciful toward their iniquities, 

and I will remember their sins no more."

(Hebrews 8:12)

Thank God for His Mercy, that He forgives our sins and wipes them away - that is true forgiveness. As it is written, God's will is not for people to perish, but for all to come to repentance (2 Peter 3:9) Praise be to God!

TESTIMONY 10: ATTACKED AFTER TRYING TO SPEAK IN TONGUES

So in the last post I shared a story about a new church I tried where everyone was speaking in tongues, and how I tried, but I failed. Well, I tried again lol on the way to my casting! It was just me and my earthly father in the car and he had left me alone for a short while when picking up something at the vet for our dogs. During this short while I remembered Kelly telling me that I should practice speaking in tongues. I had decided to attempt it right there at that moment while I had some alone time. I thought, well if this really is a secret way of talking to God, a language the devil cannot interpret, then I want to be apart of this. After all it is mentioned in the Bible?

"In my name they will drive out demons; they will speak in new tongues; they will pick up snakes with their hands; and when they drink deadly poison, it will not hurt them at all; they will place their hands on sick people, and they will get well."

(Mark 16: 17-18)

So I closed my eyes, raised my hand in the air and started. So I tried speaking in tongues just saying whatever flowed out of my mouth and I started feeling different, it's so hard to explain, but I felt something inside me happen and a presence. The same light-headed feeling I got at the church was back, and for a split second I was on my way to a smile and maybe even a giggle, just because it was such a different feeling, but then I started feeling light-headed in a bad way. At this moment my father got back into the car and I kept silent, but I was panicking inside. I thought "Oh no, did I just do something I thought was right but is actually wrong in God's eyes?"

There was a bit of a battle taking place in my mind. "What if speaking in tongues is actually evil and I was deceived? Oh dear God, please forgive me if what I did was evil." "No wait I could just be getting attacked because I'm now seen as a threat being able to speak in tongues?" this went on the whole trip towards town. I felt like I was being attacked, spiritually. I mean, how do you fight against something you can't see? Answer? You pray! Prayer is said in the material/physical world, but it works in the spiritual realm. At this point my heart was pounding, My chest was tight, my mind was consumed with paranoid thoughts, I felt like I was going to die on the spot. I pulled my seat back to lay down. I started searching for a prayer against evil on my phone and came across a brilliantly long one. While I was trying to read it and feel it, my dad starts asking me questions lol and in my mind I'm just like, dad this is just really not the time lol but I was responding bluntly, all in all I was trying to remain as calm as possible so that he didn't worry. "Penny for your thoughts?" he asked again. I completely ignored that question. "Are you okay?" "Are you tired?" "Yes, I'm just tired." (easiest way to hide any emotional struggle - say you're tired) matter resolved. I didn't get to finish the prayer in the car, but I started feeling better when I said that I am protected by the blood of Jesus Christ and that no weapon formed against me will prosper, but when I arrived inside the building of my casting I felt it again. I thought "Great, model dies at casting..."

When I reached the floor of Glamour Magazine I kept calm tried to smile while saying hi to Michelle and Kelly (Testimony 9) who were also casting and went straight to the bathroom to pray. I finished that whole prayer and felt a million times better after, like something had just been lifted off of me. I also messaged someone I really trust to pray for me and just like that, it was gone, I was back to my happy self, but one thing was on my mind. "I am done modelling, this is it, I can't live a double life, wanting to live my entire life for God and then I have to go to these castings and shoots in between. I just want a clean life." Now, I had been wanting to quit for a long time, and finally did it with my previous agency. Then I was approached by another and I took it as a sign that there was a reason I had to continue. I thought more people would listen to me if I were a model, and maybe I'm right, but at that point I said this is enough, I'm done forever now. The few minutes it lasted felt liberating lol I was feeling so confident about my choice that I told the client with a smile on my face "This is my last casting," she asked me "Oh really, why?" I thought for a second and responded "I guess you could say, because of God." then I left like a boss lol after the casting was done of course.

When I got back into the car I told my father the same thing "this was my last casting, I'm done modelling." "What happened did they say something?" he asked. I explained what had happened to me in the car while he was gone and he gave me some really good advice. "You know what, I knew something was wrong I know my daughter. This is what I was worried about, you getting attacked by evil, because you wanna do such good things and you so extreme. But Sydney, regarding your career you are meant to be a model God wouldn't have made you beautiful if you weren't, there's a reason God made you the way you are, God gave you gifts and you must use your gifts." I interrupted him saying I don't enjoy it anymore like I used to, and that it went against everything I believed in, beauty is not a face it's a soul. When you look at it in the larger picture, the modelling industry is spreading to the whole world that your image is everything. We models advertise make-up, hair products, skin products, fashion, jewellery, and we create this image that every other girl in the world thinks they can be - when really the models don't even look like the images in the magazine.

In the Bible it says we should not make ourselves beautiful with outer aids, God favours a beautiful soul: "Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewellery or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauy of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight." - (1 Peter 3:3-4)

"I want to sing gospel music and be a writer" "Okay well there, then be a singer and a writer you have many gifts, but I don't want to tell you the wrong thing, I suggest that you rather ask God what the best choice career would be for you. Then you make your decision." My dad had then reminded me about the most important thing, what about letting God's will be done? I need to flow with God's plan for me, not my own plan. I might be thinking that quitting modelling is what He wants, but what if it;s apart of His plan? I agreed to ask God.The whole way back home I was just thanking God for getting me out of that dark place, saving me, protecting me, caring about me. My eyes were tearing slightly as I was overwhelmed with thanksgiving! What a wonderful, powerful almighty God!!!!

When I got home I held the Bible in my hands and said "Father God, I know this book has all the answers. Show me a sign that I should either stop modelling or continue. I don't want to model anymore, I don't enjoy it. But if you want me to continue for some reason, I will do it for you. Let your will be done." The Bible separated at two places. I put my hand between the first section it separated and opened the other first, just to be safe. It was about something that didn't relate to career, so I paged back to the first section and read (Psalms 105)

 

"tell the nations what he has done.

Sing praise to the Lord,

Tell of the wonderful things he has done." 

I took this as a sign that I should be singing about God and writing about God, I opened at another random section and it read "Leave your family and country and go where I will show you." let's see where this journey is heading :) I'd just like to once again, thank God for what He did for me today. God is my life and words can't do enough here.... I am so glad that THE ALMIGHTY GOD, who has authority over everything loves and protects me! He really loves us a lot!

Glory be to God

TESTIMONY 9: MY FIRST HOLY SPIRIT HIGH

I'm not really sure what to call what I experienced, so I've named it the Holy Spirit High lol because that's how it made me feel and that's where it comes from, up high. Before Sunday I had no idea that the Holy Spirit could be felt in such a real way. I always used to think it was just that little voice telling us to do good and be good, but it can be felt as a sensation too? It was warm and very, very relaxing. I hope this post helps encourage you to seek more on your journey with Christ, because not only will it increase your faith, but there is also far more gifts that come with the Holy Spirit that you yourself could obtain if willed. It might be different for everybody, but this is my story.

So, this all really started manifesting on Thursday afternoon when I arrived at a fashion show presentation for Spree. I walked into the area where all the models were sitting, gave a polite teeth-less smile as everyone stared at me and took a seat near the table so I could write on my laptop. I planned to do some reading first though and as I'm taking my book (To Heaven And Back) out of my bag, guess who I see on the chair to my right, Kelly - the girl who had a vision about me (Testimony 4). She noticed me a bit later and greeted while taking her Bible out of her bag. Not long after we were joined by another model that I had met before "Are you also a Christian?" she asked as she walked our way looking at Kelly's Bible. Now strangely enough the girl walking towards us at this moment, Michelle, had met me the exact same way. I was reading my Bible at Cape Town fashion week and the first thing she ever said to me was "I'm glad I'm not the only one that takes my Bible with me everywhere I go, mines in my bag." The three of us sat in a circle, or rather a triangle, and started chatting up a storm about God. 

The whole situation was a bit much for me at first and put me on a bit of a trip to be honest. What are the chances of us all being at the same show and the Bible once again bringing us together? The conversation just started getting even more weird from then on. Perth Australia had been standing out to me everywhere for quite some time now, I kept feeling like maybe I was supposed to go there and when Michelle was asked by Kelly where she would like to travel next she says "I would like to travel to Australia now." I had also been really urging to spend time with little children lately and Kelly says "You should spend time with children. Do you spend time with children?" the weirdest part of it all would probably be the fact that I had prayed to God to meet more Christian friends whom I could speak to about my journey without offending someone or making them feel uncomfortable, and there were Michelle and Kelly, people I could talk to openly about God. We each shared our story about how we were saved and chatted throughout the free time we had before the show. 

"You should come try out The Bay church this Sunday." Kelly said. "You can really feel the Holy Spirit strongly there!" I agreed to come "Sure, that would be great." I then shared with her a really bad spiritual experience I had quite recently which I'm not sharing out of respect for the person it involved, but basically I literally nearly died lol. She said she was worried and wanted to pray for me after the show. When the show was over I offered Kelly a lift home so she wouldn't have to take public transport and when we arrived at her place she said "Could you get out of the car, I would love to pray for you." "Oh yes, please do." We both got out of the car together. We were on the sidewalk of a street in Gardens, at night. The streetlights made everything feel even more surreal, like something out of a Harry Potter movie intro lol. Surrounded by complete darkness she said "Place your hands out in front of you with palms up ready to receive and close your eyes" She then placed her one hand on my head and the other on my shoulder. I can't really remember the exact words of her prayer but it went something like this; in her awesome American accent she said "Father God, I rebuke any curses on Sydney in the name of Jesus Christ, fill her with the Holy Spirit, let her mind be renewed.. "etc. I felt at peace while she was praying for me. Luckily the street was empty because an outsiders perspective would have marked us as complete weirdos lol

When she was done praying we hugged goodbye and the next time I saw her was on Sunday morning, at the Bay Community church in Muizenberg, where "it" happened. Just like at the event I met Kelly at (in Testimony 4) again, I went alone. It was just me, her, her boyfriend and his mother, whom I met for the first time that day. At first everything seemed very normal inside the church. It was a small hall area, with chairs and a small stage with a band, until the pastor announced that we should all just praise God and let the Holy Spirit do it's thing. As everyone was praising and praying, I said a prayer that I for some reason was just drawn to saying at that moment, I said "Father God, fill me with the Holy Spirit. I want to be filled with your Holy Spirit God, I want peace and love and joy. This is what I want right now right here Father God." After saying Amen I just stood there quietly with my tingling hands up in the air. All of a sudden I got this weird feeling, it was warm but it wasn't coming from the outside, it was coming from the inside.

The warmth was in my stomach. It seemed to be spreading throughout my body. I started feeling a bit dizzy and I felt just, a different, sensation in my head area. I started panicking very slightly and thought 'should I tap Kelly on the arm and tell her? What if I'm about to faint or something?' but immediately another thought in my head said 'just relax and trust in God. God is with you, just be calm, this is you and God Sydney.' I then looked straight to the front and there was a little boy with a dummy in his mouth being held by his mother or grandmother. Her back was facing me, but the boy was looking at me above her shoulder. He made me feel calm. He stared for a while, long enough for me to start thinking 'why is he looking at me for so long, does he see something?' I felt so relaxed as he stared though, he had such beautiful piercing blue eyes and little threads of blonde hair on his head. I started feeling really happy lol I felt like laughing, but didn't want to seem weird so I allowed my stomach to shake with laughter but nothing came out of my mouth. I couldn't keep my smile in though lol and I just stood there swaying from side to side with my hands still in the air, smiling lol in a way I felt like I was drunk, but we didn't have any communion? Not that the little bit of wine would have made me drunk lol I just mean, this was all very natural - supernatural. 

The sensation then slowly started fading away, but I still felt happy after. I think it was mostly just excitement, because this was such a new feeling I had never felt before. 'What the heck was that?' I asked myself  'the Holy Spirit? It feels so good?' People then all started praying, some in English, others praying in tongues. Part of me was always skeptical about praying in tongues, I always wondered whether it was good or evil, but the other part of me really wanted to at that very moment, because I couldn't find the right words to pray in English. The pastor then asked that we pray for the person next to us and Kelly started praying for me as we held eachother, again I didn't really know what to say for her. The only thing I could get out of my mouth was "thank you father God that Kelly and I met" like a 5 year old prayer lol.... Kelly then said "I feel like God wants you to speak to Him, could you try and speak in tongues?" "What, right now?" I asked. "Yes, just try, right now, it will come from your stomach." "Okay..." I said with no confidence, but nothing. I just couldn't do it, I felt like I wanted to but my mind kept feeling that if I had to speak it would be something I was making up, so I kept quiet. 

When the service was over, still seated, I told Kelly what had happened to me and she became excited. She told me that she saw a white light around my mouth and that she felt it meant that I was trying to speak to God and that God wanted me to speak in spirit, but I stopped myself. I then told her that I had in fact been wanting to speak in tongues before she asked me to while we were praying. I immediately decided I would be coming back to that Church and that I would be getting baptized again there. "I'm going to bring my parents with next time." I said. And while we were still sitting having this conversation there were three people in front of me casually doing some sort of healing/rebuke? They were three elderly people, two women and a man. As I looked at the man who was shouting "I rebuke any power satan has over you, the son of God is more powerful than you satan!" with his and the other woman's hands over the woman in the middle, who was half falling to the ground, I thought to myself, now this is my kinda church lol I'm not sure where God will lead me to next, and which church will end up being my home, but for now I think I'll be attending both this church and Hillsong, because I love praising and dancing at Hillsong, it's like a praise party... but I definitely want to feel what I felt there again. That being said, I'm sure it can be felt anywhere if I really opened myself up to it. I guess we'll have to wait and see. 

Thanks be to God for not giving up on me, a sinner, and I can't wait to officially be Born Again :)

TESTIMONY 7: A WALK IN THE PARK

Picking up from Testimony 6, after watching the Tribulation movie I looked down at my dogs and they looked really sad and bored. They have after all been stuck in the house for weeks now. "Shame, these dogs need to get out of the house" I said to Lien (housekeeper-bestfriend) "Let's take them for a walk to the park!" Lien responded. I agreed and let the dogs know we were going on an adventure by shouting "vroom-vroom!" this phrase for some reason just gets their attention and they start running outside ready to go somewhere? Lol it's the strangest and cutest thing, but as soon as you say those words you have to take them somewhere, because if you change your mind they start moaning while staring at you, which is again - the strangest and cutest thing. So we grabbed their dog chains and took them to a park nearby. While they were running around with, I kid you not, proper smiles on their faces, I was having a chat about our neighbour with Lien. "Lien, did you ever hear church music coming from our neighbours house?" "Church music? No what neighbour?" "The one right opposite us, I heard it on Friday!" (Testimony 5) "I want to go there and see what it's all about." "Oh yes, that neighbour! The one with the white girlfriend. (lol) yes I did actually hear music coming from there sometimes. Maybe they have church there?" Lien said. "We should go" we agreed.

I then thought about that Friday night again, how I had planned to go there, but ended up staring at the stars. I laid down flat on my back again staring at the sky; only this time I was laying on grass and not on gravel and the sky was clear blue. I laid there for a while, again, looking at the larger picture. The half moon above me helped me focus on where I was located in the big world. It sunk in consciously "I am here on this earth made up of land and water, and the moon over there is to us as small as earth is to it." Just as I was starting to think about world peace again, and how easy it is to achieve if everyone agreed they wanted it, my dogs galloped right over me and started growling and going crazy! I sat up and saw they were chasing another two dogs, two beautiful dogs! They looked like snow dogs/wolves. Their owner was a man in a red Tshirt. "That's him!" Lien said softly. "What do you mean that's him, him who?" I said confused, because I had just been disturbed with a fright right out of deep thought. "The one with the white girlfriend. The neighbour!" "The house where the music comes from? Are you sure?" I asked "Yes, just ask him." "Excuse me." I projected "Do you live in the house opposite us?" I explained where we were located and it was him, the neighbour I would have walked to on Friday night (in Testimony 5).

"This is so strange, I heard music coming from your house the other night and wanted to come there, but I, well, didn't end up going. And we just mentioned you right now? And here you are at the park? What happens there?" He explained that every Friday they hold a praise and worship session at his house, called JAM "Jesus And Me". We spoke for quite some time, he had a lot to say about God. He spoke about judgement and how he doesn't force people to stop drinking and partying, "if you want to do that and still come to church then that is fine. It's about the spirit, it's a choice you make with guidance by God" he also spoke about pride and how most Christians do good "so that other people can see they are doing good, people want to please each other." He added that "God connects all His people" I sat there nodding my head the whole time, because I agreed with everything he was saying. There was one thing I wanted to ask him though, that I didn't get around to asking and you will soon find out just why. Although I had never actually met this neighbour my dad had mentioned him to me before, saying he had come up to my dad once and said "I used to be a devil worshipper, but converted to Christianity and now I rebuke demons out of people." I wanted to know if that was true, or if my dad was exaggerating or purely making the whole thing up, but I mean how do you ask someone that? "Hey so are you a former devil worshipper who converted to Christianity and now rebukes demons out of people? Oh you are? Okay cool.. I just, wanted, to know" lol while I was contemplating asking in my head still though he ended off with "If you would like to join you can come on Friday, at 7:30. Anyway, see you" and he left. Then out of nowhere a white bird landed right in front of me in the park, it looked exactly like the other one I saw before (Testimony 3) "Lien! Look at that white bird! Do you think that could be a dove?" She looked at the bird "Yes, that's a dove." I looked up at the sky and there were no other white birds flying around, just grey winged birds. Again, what are the chances? It then spread it's wings and flew gracefully away.

"After being baptized, Jesus came up immediately from the water; and behold, the heavens were opened, and he saw the Spirit of God descending as a dove and lighting on Him, and behold, a voice out of the heavens said, "This is my beloved Son, in whom I am well-pleased"." (Mathew 13: 16-17)

I hope that these testimonies increase your faith in God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit, and makes you believe in miracles, because they do exist. You just have to stop doubting and believe. My life has become miraculous... all because I said the Salvation Prayer that day at Hillsong in London (Testimony 2) :) make the decision today, you will not regret it.

TESTIMONY 4: SOMEONE HAD A VISION ABOUT ME

American Swiss event, where a girl approached me and told me that God showed her a vision of me

July 31 I was at an American Swiss diamond event my modelling agency had invited me to. For the first time in my life I had attended an event completely alone, not knowing anyone that was going to be there? I thought it would be the perfect opportunity to gain some independence. When I arrived at the event I had immediate regrets of coming alone though, because everyone knew someone there. "Hi there, welcome to the American Swiss VIP event, could I have your name please?" a lady asked me at the entrance "Hi, thanks so much, my name is Sydney Bailey." She checked the guest list and then ticked my name off. "Alright perfect, there is champagne on the right side if you would like to grab you a glass?" "Oh no thank you I don't drink." I then looked over to my right and noticed there was orange juice too. "I think I'll have a glass of orange juice though, thanks!" When I made my way into the American Swiss store I walked around looking at some of the diamonds, what else was I supposed to do? Interrupt somebody else's conversation that they were having with someone they actually knew? Lol, not a chance! A staff member of American Swiss then approached me holding a plate carrying a beautiful ring "Would you like to try on this diamond ring?" "Oh no thank you!" I said, scared it would get stuck on my finger, I wasn't going to be that person. "Are you sure? Just give it a try?" the staff member was persistent and I noticed there was a man with a camera following him everywhere waiting to snap someone with it on. "Okay, sure, I'll try it on." another staff member then put the ring on my finger as pictures were being snapped of the whole procedure. 

I was then offered a small snack by one of the waiter's with trays. After that I pretty much ran out of things to do lol so out came the phone. I then noticed another lady standing alone and we started a conversation. I then noticed a girl I had seen before at the event, she was also a model. I remembered her from Cape Town fashion week rehearsals. The remember her specifically, because she was the only other model, apart from myself, that was being defensive and openly showing with expression that she was not happy with the treatment. The team treated the models horribly, like we didn't have feelings? It was mostly just the two main ladies in charge. What caused me to become angry was when one of the ladies yelled at me "Closer to the edge!!" I looked to my right and thought if I move any closer to the edge I will fall off, I'm already on the edge? I showed her I was confused using my hands. She again yelled "Closer to the edge!!!" Are you stupid???" I thought how dare you call me stupid, who do you think you are talking to me like that? When it was her turn to walk I spotted her complaining to the other lady, making huge arm movements angrily and then storming off while she walked back up the runway. 

That was the first time I had seen her, and this was the second. She saw me and walked towards me. "Hi, I saw you at fashion week?" "Yes, I actually recognized you!" I replied. "I had a vision of you." she said. I paused for a moment confused as she continued "God shows me visions. And I feel like I should tell the people when I see them what the visions are and I have you here now." I was still trying to process all of this, at one moment I was just bored at this event and now I'm listening to someone tell me they had a vision of me. "Are you a dancer?" she asked. "A dancer? No I mean I dance all the time in the house but I really can't dance" I joked, but she continued "I had a vision of you dancing. You were wearing all white, and it was flowing. You were smiling and really happy. You were really really happy." I was in shock and didn't said much she must have thought me rude, but I didn't know what to say back to that and all I could think of was "really?" She added "I know it can be weird if someone tells you stuff like this, someone once came up to me and was like I had a vision about you and I thought it was weird." I didn't really know what to say so I decided to randomly tell her something that had happened to me when I was younger. "No I don't think it's weird. I actually had a dream that my aunt had passed away when I was younger, and then she had actually passed away soon after that." "Oh.. so you get dreams!" she said. 

Somebody then grabbed everyone's attention on the mic and speeches started. After the speeches she shook my hand and said "it was nice meeting you." and her and her partner walked away. I left soon after that. I believe that God works through His people and that we are all connected by God. After I was saved I started meeting a lot of believers, even on set of my shoots? Where were they before? I am loving this journey and am looking forward to meeting more good friends through Christ :) 

TESTIMONY 3: THE DAY I SAW A DOVE

The following wasn't a vision, it wasn't a dream. This took place in our physical world. In June 2014 I was sitting in the TV area, thinking about this book I had already started writing about how to create world peace. What lead me to writing this book was a prayer I made a few weeks before this moment. For so long I had been wanting to stop modelling, because I felt like I was wasting my life, so I had asked God that day "Father God, please just show me what my true purpose is on earth, I don't want to waste any more time here, I just want to do it. I want to know what it is so that I don't put all my effort into something that is not what I'm supposed to be doing. Show me my mission God. Show me my purpose. Show me God. Amen" I prayed for this with desperation in my heart, I really wanted God to show me and really believed He would. The next day I had a modelling casting and when I was done I sat down at a small cafe in Barrack street and started listing 10 things that I am grateful for in life (my usual routine). I stared outside through the clear glass window and watched people walking by. And asked myself, what is the purpose of all of this? What is the purpose of getting a job, none of these people are smiling? None of these people look happy? They are walking around like zombies off to work t make money. And this is their lives everyday. It was then that the solution had been placed in my mind. A solution to world peace. It was a surprisingly simple solution and yet never implemented? I knew God was telling me that I am meant to implement it. I am meant to share this simple solution with the world. My thoughts were leading me, showing me what I must do, and they lead me to writing a book that I am still busy with.

So, a few weeks later I was sitting there in my TV area, thinking about this book and how I was going to get it out to the world and save the world. Then I looked over to my left and this beautiful white bird was standing at my sliding door between the small alley on the side of my house. It was so beautiful that it felt surreal. It felt like a message from God to me. It felt like a blessing. Tears started falling down my face and I felt this overwhelming feeling of joy, like God really knew who I am and sent me this white bird. I consciously knew it was a dove, but what are the chances of that dove landing right in the small alley way on the side of my house, next to the sliding door, precisely while I was thinking about world peace? I immediately thought of Jesus when I saw it. The dove had started walking by the sliding door slowly, until it was eventually out of view. I was in awe by this experience and still staring at the sliding door in shock when my mother had entered the room. "What are you staring at?" she asked. "I just saw a dove!" "A dove? Where?" "Right here next to the sliding door!" I brought my mom over to the sliding door and was hoping it would still be there so that I could avoid looking insane lol (I had been talking to my parents about a book I was going to write that was going to bring peace to the whole world, they don't really seem interested or believe me, so they could have thought I was just making the dove up as well) but there it was, still standing in the alley way and my mother saw it with her own eyes! "Oh wow, okay, but how do you know it's a dove?" she asked. I believe that everything you see, you see for a reason. Nothing happens by accident in this world. I felt in my heart it was a sign from God to me. "It's a dove!" I said. I then researched the spiritual meaning of seeing a dove on earth to see what I could find and this is what I found and read to my mother. Who still wasn't very interested.

"The dove is a symbol of the Holy Spirit in Christian iconography. Some iconographers show Mary being blessed by a dove at the moment of Annunciation, and Jesus was blessed by the Holy Spirit in the form of a dove at his baptism. The dove is said to be so pure that it is the one form into which Satan cannot transform himself. The dove appears as  symbol of purity on the Holy Grail in Malory's Morte d'Arthur. In Muslim lore, a dove murmured the words of God into the ear of Muhammad. Today the dove is a symbol of peace, often portrayed with an olive branch in it's mouth. This iconography is taken from the story of Noah releasing the bird to bring back proof that there was land again somewhere and that the floodwater's were receding."

How exciting is that! I love signs from God, and I am excited to see where this journey leads me to on earth, but I know where it's leading me to in the spiritual realm :)