In my last post I mentioned that if you sin, you are like Adam and Eve, who listened to the devil by eating the fruit that God told them not to eat. This means that when you sin, you are not listening to God. When you sin you are listening to the devil, therefore you are following his way of teaching. And so when you sin you are giving the devil power over you and your life. The devil specially targets born again Christians (who forget to pray and put on their armour) because He knows that he has lost control of them and his job (and the job of his workers) is to keep trying to tempt us so that we fall back into sin. You see one more person who is saved by Christ is one more person that will be entering the Kingdom of God when they die! So all he wants is to drag you back into drinking and sinning. He uses people who still follow him (to tempt you or discourage you) and his target is your mind. The devil and his workers try their best to speak lies into your mind, so that they can get you to doubt what God has said in His Word - just like in the beginning. The devil made Eve doubt what God had said and then she gave in and sinned. (We have a choice to give in or resist). The enemy of God uses your mind, because he knows that thoughts bring about emotions and emotions bring about actions and you need to know it too!
I have been getting a few attacks since the day I was saved. The first one was the worst, because I didn't know what was happening lol It took place in Sun City. I had travelled to Sun City to take part in Idols South Africa's theatre week stage, from the beginning to the end of that trip I had really negative thoughts in my mind, not your average negative thoughts, they were basically make-believe thoughts about myself and the people around me. Before the trip I was feeling confident, I thought to myself "I can actually win Idols you know, it's easy, and I can use it to bring people close to God, I feel like they will listen to me if I have this title" but as soon as I landed there and we entered the stage area something came over me. My mind just flooded to a point where I couldn't figure out what was real and what wasn't. It's really hard to explain, but my mind was telling me to believe things that were not true, very delusional thoughts and I felt like I couldn't trust anyone around me. At that time I wasn't strong as a Christian. Throughout this whole Idols experience, the one I was so excited about, I was giving the devil power over me to manipulate my mind - because I was believing all his lies. On the first day I allowed fear into my mind and countless insecurities about myself, like if someone spoke to me I would try and find a hidden meaning to what they were saying like they were secretly insulting me. I even found it hard to sit around the dinner table and engage with people I just wanted to be silent and pay these negative thoughts all of my attention. It's such a hard thing to explain, but basically I had lost touch with reality and couldn't take Idols or people seriously and I just wanted to go home to Cape Town, immediately. I wanted my mommy lol
My Idols audition |
Later I started feeling an intense FEAR of getting back onto a plane and so I asked the organizers if there was any way I could perhaps instead take a bus from Johannesburg to Bloemfontein, and they said they would arrange it, but they didn't. They gave me my flight details the next day. After a 2 hour bus trip to the airport and a couple hours of waiting I made my way to my plane and was shocked at the size of it. Already having a sudden fear of flight I then still had to get on my first SMALL plane lol when I was seated inside I asked the man next to me "Have you travelled on these small planes before?" lol "Yes I have, are you scared?" "I just haven't been on a plane this small before. Don't you feel turbulence more on these small planes?" "It's not that bad, it's better than a big plane." I found some closure in those echoing words, but they soon echoed away. As soon as the plane took off the biggest fear came over me. I had to close my window cover, because I couldn't bare to watch how high we were. (I had traveled to Johannesburg, Durban, New York, London and Paris before this flight and was fine) I sat back deep in my seat, my hands started shaking, my heart was beating hard and my chest was tense. I just kept telling myself "This is it" lol "this is how I am dying, this plane is going down and I am about to die." I then added "Father God, please don't let this plane go down, I'm not ready to die I have so much to do, please. In Jesus name. Amen." When we landed safely in Bloemfontein I celebrated with the person next to me lol I thought I was in the clear for a few minutes, but turned out that I had just arrived at the destination of the peak of this evil experience.
When I arrived inside my brothers soccer house I realized that I had literally not eaten anything throughout the entire day (I wasn't hungry at all, I had just completely lost my appetite) and it was dark outside already but we decided to walk. We walked to a steers nearby and I noticed that as my brother was talking to me I struggled to put my sentences together. I could hardly speak I just kept saying "I feel weird hey. I don't know what's wrong but I feel weird." I thought maybe I just need to eat something (again not praying for protection or reading the Word). When our food arrived I had this split second of hope "everything's going to be fine now" until I put the food in my mouth and couldn't taste anything. It don't know what paper tastes like, but it tasted like paper. The thought of swallowing something that didn't taste like anything made me feel sick and I couldn't eat it. "I need water Seby, I can't taste this food I'm not going to be able to eat it." "Sydney, force it, because I don't know what to do if you pass out, mom and dad are only coming tomorrow, what would I do?" I ate about 3 chips, took one bite of the burger and forced it down and that's all I could get in me without throwing up. The walk back was the worst, I started seeing purple light everywhere in the darkness. My mind was a place of torment and I couldn't walk anymore because I felt as though I were about to faint. Again I thought: "This is it" lol Sebastian then lifted me up and carried me on his back. I then started feeling just, unsafe and began worrying that someone would jump out of the bush with a knife and attack us, at that point I started praying for protection. "Father God, what is happening to me? Am I dying? I can't die here in Bloemfontein in the street! I'm not ready to die God please!! Protect me against evil, please I need you God!!" When we got back to the house I finished two bottles of water and decided to sleep, but as soon as I closed my eyes I saw a familiar face and it looked really evil and I'm not sure if it had anything to do with overhearing those witchcraft stories or if they were a warning sign, but something inside me told me to say a prayer against witchcraft immediately. I didn't know what to say though? So I pulled out my cellphone and searched for a prayer on Google (lol) and I found the longest most effective prayer ever: Prayer against evil I went to the bathroom to be alone and said this prayer and immediately felt 1000 times better. I could sleep, and woke up alive the next day, so great. When my parents arrived I told them what had happened. I celebrate now though, looking at the growth I received out of this experience. You can either Give Glory to the devil by constantly complaining about how he has ruined your life, or you can give Glory to God for all He has brought you through, for how He has strengthened you, rescued you, corrected you and taught you. Below is a picture taken in Bloemfontein with my brother the next day after the attack.
I love your Testimony ! It's revitalizing & joyfull . God truely has amazing plans ahead for you in the future . Stay by the Lord as you do , it's the best option in life .
ReplyDelete- Hiromé Shigeaki